Settling on a name for this blog was quite the process. I wanted something that communicated the message “We’re all confused and it’s alright” in just a few words. But I also wanted it to encompass the humor, sadness, joy, loneliness, hopefulness, fear, complacency, excitement and all the other emotions that I have personally felt through much of my adult life.
At first I thought about “Degree and Directionless,” touching on the concept that once many of us graduate, we don’t really have a direction. However, I think a lot of us are initially excited and have some direction or are motivated and ambitious at first, it’s only after working for some months or years that many question, ‘Am I on the right path?’ I also liked “Privileged and Unprepared” to basically show that yes, a lot of this confusion and complacency are privileged problems to have and while many have had great opportunities like going to college, we may be unprepared in many ways for what lies ahead. I did not want to start a war on privilege or offend anyone at all. I do think these titles are snazzy and will likely be the basis of single blog posts, not necessarily an entire site.
As I’ve tried to have a more realistic approach as I think about my future, I realize that while I may be overwhelmed and confused, this is really the beginning. While it may seem challenging to decide what I want to do, where I want to live, etc. I have come to accept that it probably will only get harder when I have a significant other, family/friends and kids to plan around and think about. I am not an easily satisfied person, constantly changing interests and coming up with new ideas.
Therefore, what I am certain of, is the uncertainty I will continue to face.
The more I’ve talked with friends, family and strangers about this complacency, uncertainty and cluelessness we often face, the more real it felt that there are so many people on the same page. All we can do is wear it confidently. The last phone interview I had where someone asked me what I was looking for or where I wanted to be in 5 years, I just honestly said “I have no idea, I’m still trying to figure it out.” While I thought that would be an easy disqualifier the woman responded with “You and me both.” Surprisingly, I had several more rounds of interviews with her.
And that is my reasoning for starting this blog. I want everyone to feel ok about this uncertainty. Even with the MOST supportive family and friends one could ask for, I have battled emotions all over the place and I think that’s because this stuff is not talked about enough. We’re supposed to know what we want or follow society’s norms of timelines to certain phases and no where in the manual Life for Dummies does it say “Have continuous meltdowns of what you want, if you’re happy, what’s next.” So I settled on “Confidently Clueless” the notion that if there is one thing I am confident about, it is my cluelessness and I will wear it as a badge of honor because it is nothing to be ashamed about.